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Down with the Swirl- Part 2

Down with the Swirl- Part 2

So it’s been a few weeks of this swirling dating adventure with Jon B and I have a few observations to report.

No, not THE actual  R&B crooner hottie himself but as much as the new guy hates being told, that’s exactly who he favors.


The Look a Like and I met on a Wednesday, went out that Friday, Saturday AND again that Sunday.  Repeat the following week and again.  What does this mean? Hell, I don’t know. We’re either mildly interested in each other OR we’re just looking for time fillers.

I haven’t been able to get a solid reading on the Look a Like, but I’m guessing he may be nothing more than another fuck boy.  He doesn’t ask any questions about my dating habits, so I’m not going there either.

Okay, now my observations in no particular order, and absence of any real logic:

1.  I’m happy to be stepping outside of my norm and comfort zone.

2.  Guys with an eclectic and artsy flair are so damn hot, especially if they are musicians.

3.  I’m elated and surprised to have met a non-black man who can make my panties moist just by kissing me on my neck.

4.  Most men are the same, regardless of race.

5.  Music is everything and sharing a common interest and passion is amazing.

6.  Most men are the same, regardless of race and do the same stupid shit.

7.  I’ve felt awkward on more than one  occasion when receiving the “look” from black men and women while out with my new friend.

8.  He is very comfortable dating black women, I’m the one feeling like a traitor.

9.  All men have a certain amount of communication blockage, regardless of race.

10.  Not every non-black man has a pink tip.

11.  I still feel strongly about pets in or near beds.

12. A man with his life together is everything!!!!!!!!

This story is still developing and can have a different update next week, or you’ll see me posting this:


Until there’s a cure…

Carmen Jones

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Hangover - a let down following great excitement or excess. Wow. This one sentence describes nearly all of my dating and relationship experiences!

I'm a 30 year-old woman muddling through the Los Angeles dating scene and yes - Believe all that you've heard about the screwed up men and women in La-La Land.

This blog is of my actual experiences that will either make you chuckle, laugh out loud or maybe say "aw.....".

If your dating hangovers seem worse than the next person's, read on, post a comment and enjoy!



  1. Girl you are NOT a traitor. If you like him, and he likes you, that’s all that matters, not what outsiders may think. Now, what concerns me is the fact that he’s giving off fuckboy vibes.

    1. Thanks for that Day! I’m likely the one with the issues because regardless of his swirling history, I’m so pro-black, I’ve never really considered anything else.

      Now those fuck boy vibes…

      After last night, he’s solidified his transition into that category.

      Anyone who responds to your messages 24 hours later is clearly saying I don’t have the time, not that interested or simply- screw you.

      I’m good.

  2. First of all, congratulations on the new experience and depending on far you get with this guy, you’ll see there ARE definitely differences. Besides the obvious things in cultures, which can be good or bad. I’ve dated a few guys outside my race (Ghanaian) and couldn’t get beyond those differences so it didn’t really work. It wasn’t them, it was definitely me. Lol

    Whatever happens in the end, you can say you gave it a try so enjoy the journey!

    1. Thanks Syreetah and no matter what, I can mark this off my list of things to explore.

      As for cultures, he claims to have maintained so much of his own but I think he’s been around blacks so much, it’s been watered down.

      That’s good and bad.

      Good if I want some similarities or him to be familiar with some of our ways, but not so good because I was looking for exposure to someone different.

      Perhaps if I give it a go again, I’ll get a pure bred.

  3. There’s nothing wrong with trying what our men have been doing for eons- nothing at all. You’ll see like you said, most men act the same regardless of what they are or where they’re from.

    1. Absolutely agree with this and the behaviors of men who just aren’t there or looking for nothing, are the SAME.

      He barely lasted a month, but is longer than many.

      Back to the drawing board, but thanks for the affirmation of my dating choice to try something new.

  4. So, Jon B got to live out his African Safari fantasy, while you had to settle for a sad imitation of the Great White Hunter. If it’s any consolation, it doesn’t appear that you are exactly Bomqueesha material yourself. So he may be feeling a little cheated as well.

    1. I can’t with you!!! African Safari fantasy and Bomqueesha. Hilarious, but true.

      While we were able to click on the music and cultural familiarity levels because he was so watered down, I did feel a little cheated at times.

      He’s so used to be around blacks, it seemed like I was just going out with a really light-skinned due with straight hair.

      But don’t get it twisted, because when certain songs came on and even with his walk (no denying the swag of a brothers stride), the other side him would come to the surface. Lol!

      Oh, and funny mentioning he may have been getting the watered down experience with me as well. He was surprised- no shocked when I shared my musical tastes which range from Mary J. Blige to Pat Benatar to Maxwell to Meryl Streep. He was constantly checking me out in public, how I reacted I’m certain situations and and would comment how he liked women who didn’t do this or that.

      I could tell I wasn’t the normal black woman for him.

      Too bad he only got to experience the surface of me.

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